Dear Prudence Puggle,
I am a middle-aged woman who for almost two decades has been having an affair with a married man. His wife is severely disabled and has no interest in sex. He tells me that if I would marry him, he’d divorce her and put her in a nursing home, but I cannot see why that should happen. Their grown children help with her at-home care. I feel deeply loved by this man and want no one else. So, what’s the problem? People thinking that I have no man in my life, always making comments about it, and trying to fix me up, etc. My man says that I am free to tell them about our relationship. But when I have opened up and explained my situation, I have to hear what a bitch I am (not close friends, of course). I’m a highly independent woman who pays her own bills and makes her own decisions. I’m tired of pretending that I’m a woman without love, for in truth, I’m loved quite deeply. But I also don’t feel that I should have to explain. What’s a woman like me to say?

—Not Lonely

Dear Lonely:

I don’t think I’m any help on this one. I’m neutered.