Ask A Puggle

“What the hell, man?” There’s no better question. The world is falling apart. Drag me to hell? Nope. We’re already there. Here’s the proof.

“Bruiser: You are the 2nd cutest canine EVER! I am a huge fan. That golden coat, that under bite…well, I could go on all day. Anyhoo, I was wondering, are you friends with the Puggle in I Love You Man? Do you hang out with the canine Hollywood elite?”

During a visit with my brother-in-law’s family, I was sitting at the table chatting when my 3-year-old nephew ran up, screamed, “I am a dragon,” and bit my arm. Shocked and in pain, I ended up hitting him and knocking him over. He started crying and ran to his room. I have apologized profusely, but I still feel like a monster. How could I have better resolved the situation without resorting to violence?

I am in love with a friend but confused by her actions around me. “Lisa” and I met in college and, after she graduated, she moved to Utah. Recently, I traveled out to see her and, even though she insisted we were both friends, made advances that seemed more than platonic. I want make Lisa more than just a friend, but can’t escape that label. What would you do?

Once again, my boyfriend and I had a fight over my dog. I have a mini dachshund-chihuahua mix that is my baby. I’m not weird about it; she doesn’t eat from a dinner plate or accompany me on trips to the mall, but she is allowed to sit on the sofa and sleep at the foot of my bed. My boyfriend is pretty much repulsed by this, and my dog, in return, is terrified of him. We can’t even consider living together because of this one issue! What’s the compromise here, so that we’re both happy?

Dear Puggle,
I am a middle-aged woman who for almost two decades has been having an affair with a married man. People thinking that I have no man in my life, always making comments about it, and trying to fix me up, etc. What’s a woman like me to say?